Bitter truths you can't Avoid by Lenony Snicket
"No matter who you are, no matter how many people are chasing you, what you don't read is often as important as what you do read."
"Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator."
"A good thing to do when one is sitting, eating, and resting is to have a conversation."
"One of the worlds most popular entertainments is a deck of cards, which contains thirteen each of four suits, highlighted by kings, queens, and jacks, who are possibly the queen's younger, more attractive boyfriends."
"Most schools have a system of loud bells, which startle the students and teachers at regular intervals and remind them the time is passing even more slowly than it seems."
"A long time ago, there was no such thing as school, and children spent their days learning a trade, a phrase which here means "standing around doing tedious tasks under the instruction of a bossy adult." In time, however, people realized that the children could be allowed to sit, and the first school was invented."
"Anyone who asks you to describe your summer vacation is writing probably has a secret, infernal plan, and under no circumstances should you include in your report even a hint of the truth."
"It is not very polite to interrupt a person, of course, but sometimes if the person is very unpleasant you can hardly stop yourself."
"Siblings who claim to get along all the time are most definitely hiding something."
"It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches."
"One of the remarkable things about love is that, despite very irritating people writing poems and songs about how pleasant it is, it really is quite pleasant."
"It is so rare in this world to meet a trustworthy person who truly wants to help you, and finding such a person can make you feel warm and safe, even if you are in the middle of a windy valley high up in the mountains."
"shyness is a curious thing, because, like quicksand, it can strike at any time, and also like quicksand, it usually makes its victims look down."
"A passport, as I'm sure you know, is a document that one shows to government officials whenever one reaches a border between countries, so the officials can learn who you are, where you were born, and how you look when photographed unflatteringly."
"There are many difficult things in this world to hide, but a secret is not one of them."
"Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant, filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like."
"One cannot spend forever sitting and solving the mysteries of one's history."
"Sometimes, when someone tells a ridiculous lie, it is best to ignore it entirely."
"No matter who you are, no matter how many people are chasing you, what you don't read is often as important as what you do read."
"Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator."
"A good thing to do when one is sitting, eating, and resting is to have a conversation."
"One of the worlds most popular entertainments is a deck of cards, which contains thirteen each of four suits, highlighted by kings, queens, and jacks, who are possibly the queen's younger, more attractive boyfriends."
"Most schools have a system of loud bells, which startle the students and teachers at regular intervals and remind them the time is passing even more slowly than it seems."
"A long time ago, there was no such thing as school, and children spent their days learning a trade, a phrase which here means "standing around doing tedious tasks under the instruction of a bossy adult." In time, however, people realized that the children could be allowed to sit, and the first school was invented."
"Anyone who asks you to describe your summer vacation is writing probably has a secret, infernal plan, and under no circumstances should you include in your report even a hint of the truth."
"It is not very polite to interrupt a person, of course, but sometimes if the person is very unpleasant you can hardly stop yourself."
"Siblings who claim to get along all the time are most definitely hiding something."
"It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches."
"One of the remarkable things about love is that, despite very irritating people writing poems and songs about how pleasant it is, it really is quite pleasant."
"It is so rare in this world to meet a trustworthy person who truly wants to help you, and finding such a person can make you feel warm and safe, even if you are in the middle of a windy valley high up in the mountains."
"shyness is a curious thing, because, like quicksand, it can strike at any time, and also like quicksand, it usually makes its victims look down."
"A passport, as I'm sure you know, is a document that one shows to government officials whenever one reaches a border between countries, so the officials can learn who you are, where you were born, and how you look when photographed unflatteringly."
"There are many difficult things in this world to hide, but a secret is not one of them."
"Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant, filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like."
"One cannot spend forever sitting and solving the mysteries of one's history."
"Sometimes, when someone tells a ridiculous lie, it is best to ignore it entirely."
